I still have your letter

I still have your letter from that day. It made me angry when I first read it that night. We were fighting and the letter was so beautiful, that it made me angry.

The next day I cried. Cried because it was the last thing I had from you. The last time I saw your sweet face. Those blue eyes looked so sad when you handed it to me. I was angry.

I didn’t know that it was the last time I would see you or hear your voice.
I cried for days.


I still have your letter.
It’s pressed between pages in a book. A book I will always hold dear to my heart.

The envelope it came in is in my wallet. I want to cry when I see the words on it.
“You’ve lost Someone Special”
I truly did loose you.
I didn’t know it then, but I know it now. Two years too late.

I’ve moved on, my heart with someone else.
But a piece will always be with you Zachary.

I will never be whole again. I don’t blame you, for I blame myself. I know it was not my fault, but I blame myself.

I have not read your letter since the day you passed. I do not wish to cry anymore.

But I still have your letter.


The One, who wasn’t


I was nineteen when I met him. I thought he was the one. Thought we would be together until our demise. THOUGHT.

Our relationship was great, minus some fights. I knew I was in love with him, it just felt right. He made my world like a bright sunny day. A day that would eventually end. For now though, I was in love.

I ♥️u was written on a sugar packet left by him. I knew he loved me too.

People said that I looked unhappy, but they only saw the fights.
I was truly happy. WAS.

Four months in and things were rocky. But I didn’t know just how rocky.

At nineteen years old I was in love. I was happy.

Then The End came and here I am.

He left in the blink of an eye. Our life together, gone.

When I found out, my world came crashing down. The sunny days turned cold and icy.

Tubes sticking in his mouth, eyes closed. Nothing but the machines moving his chest in a rhythmic motion.

The rise and fall of his chest.

The memories came fast and flooded every part of my body.
Rain poured down on me and and ocean formed.

At nineteen. I lost him.